PEOPLE PLEASERS

“The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”

Humans are insatiable.

The desire for more increases as you attain what you want.
Human “wants” are insatiable too.
Once you get one box from your long list of “wants” ticked off, you instantly replace it with another “want”

Image from dreamstime on Pinterest.

Now, imagine being a people pleaser, it is literally becoming a slave to insatiable masters.
People who feel compelled to always please others are usually insecure beings who desperately crave external validation and approval.

Although some do it in a guise to obtain power and control.

As expressed by Robert Greene in his iconic book - THE 48 LAWS OF POWER, (Law 12 talks about using selective generosity to please people and distract them from figuring out your true intentions) people pleasers are never the type to do it without an underlying reason or motivation.

How you spot a people pleaser

• Always antsy.
• They always have a charade going on.
• Acts mostly on their caprices.
• They always have something to say.
• They are very biased.
• They never really express themselves.
• They have a heart filled with distaste.
• They act as an undercover phony.
• They are over friendly.
• They are indecisive and constantly in turmoil.

Why people pleasers appear to be never pleasing.

When you keep giving people what they want without anything new or out of the ordinary, you become mundane to them.

Types of people pleasers.

1. The ones with a good social quotient.
2. The dummy that has to belong.
3. The enemy with ulterior motives.

The ones with a good social quotient.

Everyone in some way must have in one way said or done nice things to people because we feel good to do it or courtesy demands we do.
You know when to please people without you feeling bad for doing so. It is more like an extended form of warm sympathy.

To please people, it is advised to have a good knowledge about the psychology of humans. Humans are quick to lessen the value of something they get for free. If you give yourself out freely to scornful people, you would become what you didn't think you were.

If you must please people out of your will, do it selflessly.

The dummy that has to belong.

You do everything people say because you don't know, you never know and you can't know what to do because you're indecisive.
People dictate what you do and what choices you make.
This category of persons are often perceived as miserable because they don't have their own life or haven't found their own space.

They make everyone their friend because they have a problem.
(If everyone is your friend, you have a problem.)

You hide behind the shadows of everyone so that no one notices your flaws or scars. Did you think what will happen when they finally see these flaws?
It is of no use trying to fit in the wrong puzzle.

Too embarrassed to look at yourself in the mirror without seeing someone else in it.
You know the real “you” without an act.

Image from the Author's Pinterest.

It's normal to not be accepted by everyone, forcing to be accepted is abnormal.

Notice when you try to be in everyone's good book, it's because you feel or know you're in the bad book or you're not even in their book.
This is the trait of a pathetic and miserable person.

Why do this type of people appear to be never pleasing?

They keep giving people what they want without anything new or out of the ordinary, and this becomes ordinary and expected from their masters.
People like to be taken out of notice.

When you please people, are you doing it selflessly from your heart or you hate what you do but have to save face?

The more you try to be everything to everyone, the more you lose yourself. Humans are insatiable!

Don't lose yourself by tolerating too much from people you want to keep, instead think of how to move forward without having these people around you.

“Too much kindness is also dangerous as doing wrong to someone.”

People aren't wired to cope with too much sympathy, too much niceness and too much docility.
People like to be challenged because they want to prove their importance in certain areas. People enjoy showing that they can do more and get more.

Being too nice is creepy. If you always say YES to whatever people request from you, it is obvious to a wise person that you're either up to something or you don't have a mind of your own.

When you're too nice, people tend to think you're a fool or doormat.

This type of people pleasers always suffer gravely because they lack authenticity. That is why they become thorns on their own flesh by doing whatever it is to please others. This is far away from playing stupid to get what you want but close to “i can't think for myself, whatever they say.”
They will be jettisoned before they learn.

One thing about pleasing people is that when you get tired of the act, you are labeled with a bad word quickly. Insults and scorn will follow duly as it is what you attracted.

The enemy with ulterior motives.

There is a dark psychology behind this type of people pleasers.
These folks would go into pleasing others to get just about anything they want.
This act may be as little as allowing people to call you names, insult you, play with your body, fling your things etc without you saying anything or reprimanding them.
You let them do whatever they want, just so you can have something from them.

Persons like this are worse than the enemy you think you have. They mostly come across as naive people who want to be friends with you, because they know the easiest and fastest way to get intimate with you is to become a “nice pleasing friend.”

They are the enemy and fortunately the closest people to sabotage your plans because they know and understand your swings.

When you figure out these types of people pleaser, follow them cautiously. (Even snakes learn from them.)

Who do you please?
Ever thought of the people you should please?
A cocky person doesn't want to be pleased by you.
Your charade will be of little significance to someone who is overly self confident. They are usually very certain about themselves so who are you to them?
Many times it is important to take a step back to know when these charades aren't benefiting you, rather, leading you to smear.

Invest the energy of pleasing others to where it is needed.